January is coming to an end already.
and I have already broken 50% of my resolutions for 2007.
Haha... ;D
I guess that's why there are 12 months in a year, it gives you hope that there are as many chances to redeem what you promised yourself to do within that year itself.
Supposedly every year has to be amazing... and this means I'm down to 11 more chances to make 2007 as so.
For the past year, one question that has been bugging my mind is - "What the hell happened to me?".
I can't seem to surpass my own average expectations anymore.
It's frustrating, because sometimes I become a 3rd person watching myself everyday with that urge to strangle me and tell myself, "Wake up!".
But the funny thing is, "wake up from what?"
I think I've not been trying anything new...
And things I've been trying at are not really working out as great as I wanted it to be.
That's why.
I know I may sound like a spoiled brat because I've so many things in life to be thankful for.
I'm aware of this, please don't get me wrong =)

But you know sometimes there's this voice at the back of your head saying, "You can be better than this. Why aren't you?".
And it has been ringing in my head... sometimes screaming, infact.
*sighs*
I have got to try something new.
Maybe it's the lack of excitement and varied challenge that's making me feel this way.
And no, I'm not about to try drugs like weed or something.. I don't go for that kind of high ;p
It's basically DOING something which makes a DIFFERENCE to something or someone.

I've read and seen so much suffering and tragedy other people are facing in the world (be it local or international), and then I look at myself in the mirror and just hate me.
Why?
Because I'm not doing anything to help.
I feel powerless, very very useless.
...and that's just one of the many examples of how I feel about things.

I don't know why this feeling is within me but it has become so increasingly overwhelming.
It made me feel angsty even.
I don't mean to be, I just can't help it.
;p

I'm going to deal with this.
I will, don't worry.
*ponders*

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Ah, Fudeen's turning 16 on the 29th.
Unfortunately, I'll be back in Uni by then =(
I'm not sure what to get him.
I've a few ideas but with the budget I have to stick with, I don't think it's possible for me to give him anything big.
We'll see =)

Lately, I've not been dealing with birthdays very well.
As of now, I still have not given Sheena and Amira's overdue birthday pressies.
It's not that I don't have anything or anything planned for them.
I do.
But the point is, it's never done/given on time.
I'm sorry, girls.
I love you, trust me.
Bear with my disorganisation please?
*hugs*
;-)

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Family matters.
It saddens me sometimes when I get way too busy with Uni and forget to call or contact my family members.
I know they miss me when I'm not around even though they pretend they don't ;p
This holiday got me thinking and wondering whether I've done my part in keeping in touch with granma and mom especially.
I feel selfish.
I use my phone to update friends, but not my family most of the time.
*notes to self*
I WILL make sure I keep in touch with family. I MUST!!.

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Hey February, I want to feel great with you.
I don't want to stay in this mostly pessimist January mode anymore.
Therefore, I will...
[x] find more reasons to be happy.
[x] try to consume healthier food.
[x] try to put in more quality in my study hours.
[x] sign up for a beneficial activity.
[x] get more sleep.
[x] celebrate V-day as a content happy single with friends who loves me for who I am.
[x] score my midterm papers.
[x] contact my family atleast once a day.

*rereads resolution*
... yeah, ALL that only for February. Whether I'll succeed or not, I'll give you a follow-up by the end of Feb.

Hearts,
Puteri =)

ps: did anyone watch malaysia vs. singapore's footy match earlier. Too bad we didn't qualify to semi-finals... maybe next time huh?
=')

rewind :: fastforward