.."moving forward".
2006-06-23, 2:01 a.m.

It’s funny how life goes on after losing someone so dear…
When I started laughing again a few days ago, a sense of guilt crept into me.
I told my mom this and she told me she felt the same.
All of us (my family members) feel this way… because it’s only been a week since our pillar of strength left us…

Then the brilliant child of the family spoke…
“Atuk mesti suka tengok kita happy. Kalau kita sedih je, nanti dia susah hati…”.
At this statement, everyone kind of zoned out for a while.
I have a feeling we silently agreed.
Then, one mentions one of Atuk’s quirks… how he used to buy lots of 3-in-1 teas/coffees, how he loved to try new ones for different purposes.
Everyone let out a light hearted laugh… and more of Atuk’s quirks were shared between us.
Tears formed in my eyes, but this time it is not so much of sadness anymore…
It’s more of happiness.
It felt good.
Thank you for leaving such worthy marks in our lives.
=)

There is life after losing a loved one.
Because that’s just how the world works.
It’s a cycle of life we all have to abide by whether we want to or not…
And there is such a thing as ‘moving forward’…
(I won’t use ‘moving on’ because that’s what I refer to people I no longer love in a special way, i.e. ex-boyfriends, etc.)

And, my dear Atuk, I know if you’re able to have your say, you’d want all of us to continue normally with our lives.
So we will try that, no matter how painful it feels whenever thoughts of you not being here with us cross our minds.
(Which naturally happen so very often right now…)

I know the kind of man you are… of such rare breed =)
*hugs in heart*

I will remember our conversations and I will keep your all your advice in mind.
Always…
I don’t know much about the afterlife, but I know you’ll watch over us all if you have that option… as I would watch over you through my prayers.
InsyaAllah.

Love you so much.
Forever and for always…

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I’m starting my orientation on the 1st of July , Amira called today to tell me this.
Initially, I thought it’s on the 3rd of July.
Bummer.
I am still looking forward to Uni as I was before.
But a reduction of 48 hours kind of cased a dent my enthusiasm a bit.

Hopefully, I’ll get through ta’aruf fine.
Liana also called to wish me well (thanks ;D)
She advised me to bring all the techie gizmos I have to keep me entertained.
A sign it’ll be boring… (haha, duh.)
But then again, I find the weirdest things exciting anyway.
So, heck, whatever goes.
Plus, there’s Amira to catch up with.
We’ll exchange stories on Philippines and Pakistan aight?
=)
InsyaAllah, it’s all good.

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Wan Aida Adlina (who used to be called Wan Armadina- she changed her name, not kidding ;p) called me too a few hours ago to tell me that she’s one of Maybelline Dream Team’s selected 10.
These 10 lucky girls gets to have ALL the range of make-up Maybelline has to offer, plus professional make-up artiste training.
The grand prize will go to only one of them… which is a sort-of internship in New York with some of the world’s top make-up professionals.
Yep, it’s pretty big.
(I’m very happy for you, Wan… I really am ;D)
They’ll be appearing on ntv7’s breakfast show this week if I’m not mistaken.
And she’s invited me as one of her ‘entourage’ of friends for a little bash at The Curve for a day of fun sometime in July.
(insyaAllah, I’ll be free by then, thanks for the invite, dear)

This girl does catwalk and now she’s going for an international career… *strangles*
She’s also majoring in accounting and is in the bloody dean’s list of her uni…
(I had to mention this cos she’s a beauty with brains *cheers*… ahem- wei, enough already ah wei! …aku tak jealous, serious… ;p)

I’m suddenly reminded of those years we spent cheerleading during Sports Day and Cheer.
How the hell do you get to stay fit til today?
*&^%$#@!
Haha… ;D
Mish you, babe.

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Ah, World Cup…
I’ve never actually mentioned which country I am supporting this time around, did I?
It’s Germany (okay, I like Brazil too, but Ronaldhino endorsing Breeze just don’t work with me, you see… ;p)
I’ve decided on this since 2002.
When Michael Ballack was featured in the pull-out back then, I fell for the whole darn country’s team!
Yes, I am shallow in this matter.
Visha, Vivienne and Carlyn knows this of me too well
(I miss betting on who’ll win with you, people!)...
(Do you guys remember my obsession with Aussie’s Ian Thorpe? I’m feeling the same get-go again, baby)
I went to eat at a mamak nearby when it was the game between Ecuador and Germany on Tuesday night.
My eyes didn’t move from the plasma tv at all when the game was on.
I barely recall the taste of my Butter Naan and Teh Tarik.
I’m all for Ballack now.
*screams*

And there she goes again…

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