“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate your boyfriend because he thinks I am.”

I recall telling Ezrin and Amira, how bitchy this statement is.
And that I’d be the cruelest thing in the world to say it to some people.
Ironically, I feel it so much right now.

Sadly, sadly, sadly…
I have been misunderstood in 2 distinct occasions.
(FYI, I’ve had a number of better ones to keep me believing in love though… ;D)
This is pretty private BUT I think it’s necessary to just type it out.
Next time I’m questioned, I’ll just say “Go read this post in my blog”.
So, here’s an attempt to explain the situation further.

“I swear to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth..”

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There’s this one guy (who’s one of the most manipulative people on planet) whom I got involved with for a very short period of time last year… (i.e. less than a month).
I had NO idea he had a girlfriend or should I say girlfriend(s).
He told me he didn’t.
So when I got to know he did, I told him there’s no way I’m going to go any further than friends with him.
He told me, he’ll “tell off” the girl he’s with.
I refused this option.
Why?
Because I have NO intention at all of becoming a 3rd party in people’s relationship.
That’s NOT the type of girl I am.
So, I broke it off.
Cos frankly, I could do better and I had no intention of staying in it for long in the first place.

Then, his long time girlfriend asked me one day this year (through fs)
“How’s (his name here)?”
“Is it true (he’s doing this, doing that)?”
“Is he cheating on me?”
The last question stopped me in my track.
For the past few months, I heard loads about this person’s infidelity and manipulations.
I debated with myself whether I should or not tell her how he really is.

Then the turning point of me deciding to go ahead and tell was this –
If I am in her shoes, would I want to know the truth about my other half, good or bad?
YES.
So I did.
And this backfired.

He instead twisted the story and told her something else (which points to me as the guilty party) to save his sorry a**.
(Debaters are sooooo good at this, right?)
*smirks*
And she believed him.
Love IS blind.
He then broke things off with her by accusing her suspiciousness is an issue.
Nice one, what a perfect scapegoat…
*applauds*
Tsk, tsk.

She now feels negatively towards me like I’ve wronged her.
But instead…
*sighs*
The truth is, we’re both victims in a way.
I feel sorry for you.
I really do.
I’m sorry this happened.
*hugs*
(yes, I would still give it to her. The girl needs it)

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In a totally different occasion, there’s this other guy who’s also with another girl some time ago, who showed interest in me.
He made some random moves.
I refused his attempts a lot of times.
Because it is just not freaking right!
One, I wouldn’t want my lover to do such a thing to me – cheat with another girl.
I’m a believer in karma, what goes around, comes around.
Two, the girl’s a dear, dear friend of mine. No way!
So, what did he do?
He broke things off with her.
Then about a month after that, he told me I’m still the one he wants (bla, bla…)
And since he was technically single...
I thought – “Poor thing, I’ll just give him a try and see where this goes.”
Little did I know, he told the girl I’m friends with that the reason for the break up was “another girl”…

So, you see how I look like in her eyes?
*recalls*
OMG.
I know.
B-A-D.

When I got to know this, I ended up breaking up with him (yes, I am a serial dumper, but I have a good reason here don’t I?).
I don’t need/want to tolerate such a screwed situation.

I tried to explain the real stuff to her later, but I can see how betrayed she felt.
We didn’t speak for a while…
Now we do.
But I know things’ll never be the same again.
I wish I can tell you how sorry I am =’(
I wish I can tell you that as much as you’re hurt, I am hurt too.

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And guess what?
The 1st girl’s good friends are ALSO the 2nd girl’s good friends.
Woops, double trouble!
Haha, life’s a joke, I tell you.
Now, when my name comes up in their little group…
*imagine nuclear reaction*
I doubt they have nice things to say about me.
So when you have a clique which only judges situations from one side, what do you get?
Well, in my case, a bad name.

If I am really bitchy,
I would have said that bitchy yet catchy phrase I put up above..
BUT, I wouldn’t.
Because I’m not like that.
Because I am a girl too.
Because I know it hurts to be in your position.
I only wish you’d put yourself in mine to see that it wasn’t easy for me too.
But you’re both too blinded by vengeful feelings to see clearly.
I understand that…
I will let this go…

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My life is not all sugar and spice.. and now I feel better to tell my bad experiences.
I must thank the interview I watched on Oprah with Teri Hatcher just now for this willingness to reveal some of the darker things I have inside my heart..
She was SO honest about her hardships in relationships...
And I believe it's a sign for me to not sugarcoat stuff to stay real.
And trust me, such twist of fate and bad luck is very, very real.
And I've accepted that I need stuff like this to open my eyes to how harsh reality can be and stay grounded... *amin*

Puteri got this from TagBoard!

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