of a lil conversation with pak guard ..
2006-05-12, 4:02 a.m.

I had debate training earlier.
We discussed legalizing surrogacy and negotiating with terrorists.
Not very successful but was so-so…
;p

Once the whole thing ended, I realized I forgot to call dad to come pick me up.
So when I did, I had to wait at the guard post for almost an hour.
This security guard whom I had a bad disagreement with the semester before happened to be doing his shift then…
Naturally, at first, I dreaded having to wait with him for dad.
While waiting, we started chatting… and the conversation continued till my parents arrived!

Little did I know, tonight, I’d discover the real person behind this strict, misunderstood authority of MCIIUM…

At first, he asked me what was I doing there so late at night? I told him, it’s training and went on to explain AUDC in Manila.
He then pointed out some articles on local artistes in the paper he’s reading.
“Dik, tengok ni… Abby dengan Norman bercerai! Rumahtangga artis kita ni tak kukuh betul”, he said.
I looked at the article and replied, “Ha’ah, pak cik. Macam sapa tu, Erra dengan Yusri KRU pun, macam nak cerai je, duduk asing-asing kan?”
Yes. I read local tabloids. Haha… ;D

From then on, we spoke about the importance of strength of family institution, types of divorce cases and their factors, the pros and cons of being a security guard in a higher learning institution, courses provided in IIU and types of student who gets hired for jobs straightaway after grad, the variety of food in different matric cafes, the decline in discipline of Gombak students, etc, etc…

After all these, we got a little more personal, he revealed that his 22-year-old son/daughter is currently working for an insurance agency. His child didn’t continue studying after SPM due to financial matter even though he wants to. He couldn’t afford the fee and his land/property weren’t enough to be put up for mortgage. His wife’s business wasn’t doing too well then too. So his child’s education had to be sacrificed (he mentioned that he is proud of his child today anyway).

I asked whether he consulted banks or organizations for loan/funding since I know there are quite a number out there who’ll help. He told me that he wasn’t really aware of the type of assistance he could get as he wasn’t living in the city back then. (I think the government should really increase awareness and information dispersion outside KL!)

He asked about my background and I shared a little with him too.

This man was so honest with his life that my heart really went out for him. He gained my respect by over a 100% percent within that one conversation. I now do not despise security guards as much anymore (well, at least not him, haha)

It’s quite an eye-opener, really. Sometimes I get so lost in my own world and take a lot of things for granted in my life. I feel God made me have this exchange of thought with this pak guard to shake me out of my somber/moody mood lately… it may just be working =)

Thank you.
I am forever grateful, ya Allah.
Bless me always =) *amin*

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(a lil something on my mind which had to get out, and I’d rather put it in poem form…)

Babe.
You’re so screwed… you know that?
But there’s something about you that just tugs my heart’s strings,
I don’t love you anymore… you know that?
But I still want to mend your broken wings,
I never left for real… do you realize that?
Cos I won’t cut you off like others would,
I’m always around, do you realize that?
I’ll never abandon you… I never could.

Babe.
I hope you’ll be able to put yourself together,
When you’re broken again,
I want you to know I’m always here,
But only as a friend,
You know I can make you feel better,
You know I’ll understand,
If you ever find darkness looming,
Reach out to me, stop hesitating,
I left “us”,
I didn’t leave “you”.
So babe,
Keep that in mind.

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