Unwell.. overheated.
The heat is on… Two, it’s debating. My analysis of given case and argumentations are shallow. I can’t seem to go past the 1st level (which is the surface level) of a debate in my speeches. Why, why, why?! *grrr…* A demo debate will be held in matric next Monday. ---------- There’s this article in May’s Cleo on Aspiring Young Achievers… some successful girls in their 20s were highlighted and awarded for their achievements. As I read through each and every one, I realized something (which I know all along anyway) – “I want this. The sense of satisfaction and accomplishment all these girls have. I want this. I will get this”. These where the words that went through my mind… I really hope to get there one day. Have you heard of the 1-year, 3-year or 5-year plan? It’s like a plan you map out of how and where you wish to be or achieve in a certain period of time. Giving yourself goals to score and time to do it. I’ve sat down over 10 times with a blank piece of paper and pen in my hand… trying to map out my life in the near future. As you would’ve guessed, until now, I still don’t have a proper plan. I’m too freaking indecisive. That’s my problem… So that, when I finally accomplish this, then I can start my real plan… Can you see my problem? All I know for now is I want to get there… ---------- I need to sleep now.
2006-05-11, 3:28 a.m.
One, it’s my temperature level ;p
I’ve been getting major headaches and am coming on with a fever.
It’s due to lack of sleep and also stress I’m feeling with AUDC.
I’ve been feeling so incompetent lately.
During trainings, I can’t seem to perform my level best and this frustrates me. I’m not feeling well health-wise, yes. But that’s a weak reason as to why I can’t be as good as I should… especially at this level with the competition being so near and all.
Guess whose demonstrating? – yes, the 2 teams who’re training for Philippines.
I hope I can put up a good fight for my team.
I know what it’s like to look forward to a debate and getting disappointed when it’s below average.
I don’t want to give the audience that.
It doesn’t matter if very few turn up to watch, I’m going to try to make it more interesting…
I’m getting bored listening to me speak!
Is that good or bad? I’ve had too much of me… is that even possible?
Haha… ;D
I’m nuts. It’s official.
Yes, I’m a dreamer. So sue me.
Yes, I’m kiasu. So sue me.
Yet, each time, I failed to do so… I kept contemplating and wondering –
“should I break this down to a step-by-step manual/planning or general goals?”
“is this relevant, my dream, for me?”
“is this the right way to do this?”
(and a truckload of other questions of doubt…)
So now I have one short term goal (which is causing direct harm to my status quo)
I have to be more decisive.
Of what I want, of who I want to be, where I want to be, how to get there… the whole shenanigan.
Which depends on when I will actually accomplish this…
(which is probably next to never…)
*sighs*
Good.
That’s my problem.
H-E-L-P!
*screams and tugs hair*
So give me a break and some time to sort myself ya.
*meditates*
Haha…
Or my mind won’t be able to function anymore by morning…
*yawns*
Goodnite.
=)Here's for you to have your say ... (If you want to ;p)
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Puteri got this from TagBoard! |
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